When we lived in Chicago, our church was home for several international Chinese students. I remember trying to help them feel welcome by inviting them over, talking with them, etc. One time we made homemade pizza together. When I gave instructions and asked if they understood they responded with smiles and nods... it didn't take long for me to realize they had no idea what I was talking about. This happened many times and I used to find it frustrating - why couldn't they just say 'no, I don't understand'. After a while I started asking non-yes/no questions to make sure they got it.
At the funeral today I was making tea and a friend was rattling away in Setswana. I got that she was saying something about Masimo (Prescott) playing with other kids so he could learn Setswana, something about chasing dogs and goats, and then something about Pego (a boy in my Sunday School class). My mind raced to keep up with her Setswana and I smiled and nodded as I realized she had asked a question. I was frantically translating, she had asked if I knew whose son Pego was. Trying to shift brain function from translation to face recognition, I was just getting to the right answer (I did know it) when she tsked me and walked away disgusted. It was funny to realize that I had just smiled and nodded to her question (the thing that frustrated me about the Chinese girls), she knew me well enough to ask a non-yes/no question to test comprehension, and I was annoyed that she was frustrated at me for doing the smile and nod. It is humbling having the roles reversed.
An unrelated story: I was cleaning up the tea from prayers the other day when I met a large woman coming toward me on the path. She was helping to put away chairs and had a big stack in her arms. As I passed I said, 'Wow, you are strong' in Setswana. She smiled and laughed. About 15 steps after passing, a wave of horror came over me - I hadn't said, 'wow, you are strong.', I had said, 'wow, you are huge.' I was mortified.
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I had a lot of reading to catch up on. Wow. First of all, I'm very sorry that your dear friend is gone. It sounds/looks like she was a beautiful person.
Second, I remember when you made the pizza with the Chinese students--I think I was there! I remember you showing them a lot of love and I remember everyone having a good time. : )
Finally--your little boy is a dumpling! And I know it's hard to visit home/family and then leave again, especially with a little one, but your experience in Botswana is such a gift and a great foundation for the rest of his life.
Thinking of you,
Wendy
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